I'm sitting here at 12:35 a.m., sipping a wine glass filled with water and listening to contemporary Christian music.
Both of “my girls” are surely fast asleep in their rooms. I enjoy the peace of a quiet VRBO despite a blasting a/c unit outside an open window behind me, letting the occasional blast of cool air brush up against my back. I’m immersing myself in uplifting praise music after deep conversations that only mature women who feel secure in their surroundings can have.
We decided to spend a long “Galantines” weekend together to reset, recalibrate and reconnect. One is recently widowed, one is still going strong in a full-time demanding career, and one is looking for a place to call home with a deck of challenging cards.
We bared our souls, shared our dreams, and sat with our thoughts. We have entered and are fully “in” a new phase of life, awkward and foreign, attempting to find our bearings.
I'm letting the dust of loving emotions settle in my brain, making no attempt to process. Some information shared is just meant to land on smooth ground and melt. There is nothing to retain or decipher. It's time to listen, set our heavy luggage down, and rest.
Girl time is a pilgrimage. A mission. A crusade. A way to help each other march forward into whatever awaits us in the next season, the next year, the next month. To help each other in the next passage of life. The older we get, we begin to see that the more we thought we knew, the less we actually knew. Suddenly, here we are, facing our most important and serious junctures.
Let’s face it. There’s less in the windshield than in the rearview. Some phases of life we once scoffed at are now our reality; “My best years are behind me.” I remember rolling my eyes at that thought.
Now, not so much eye-rolling….
Sometimes, we feel simply older. Sometimes, we feel plain old. Now, we are the age we considered old, back when we were young women. Who knew we wouldn’t change at our core?
The truth is, so much DOES change!
Circumstances change.
Looks change.
Interests change.
Jobs change.
Spouses change.
And hair color......
Hair color changes A LOT.
Does that mean “we” change?
I mean, of course, we change. But how much? To what degree? What parts of us? Because to me, it seems the most essential parts of us do not change at all.
Spending time with my girls for a few days reminds me of who I am at my core and how far I’ve come.
Because yes, I have made some changes—important ones.
I don’t drink nearly as much. I prioritize my health. I take daily walks. I don’t make as many impetuous decisions. I pray. I take time daily for some self-care. And my playlist may still have AC/DC on it, but it also has the likes of Casting Crowns and Matt Maher.
Nevertheless, I am still ME! I still sing way too loud with the radio. I still break out in dance anywhere if a good song is playing. I still belly laugh out loud if something is super funny. I still act silly and embrace life with my arms wide open, unabashedly.
As do “my girls.”
These are the friends who KNOW me. They LOVE me just as I am. At my core. And they remind me why I should do things that inspire me. Sometimes, I am confident and can grab bulls by their horns. But other times, I feel utterly unworthy of taking risks or going out on a limb, even if it’s something I know in my bones.
Those conflicting thoughts can disorient a person. The voices that want me to stay stuck can get pretty loud. And they do a good job of drowning out the voices of strength.
I need my girlfriends to remind me of who I am deep inside. Not many people can do that.
I need that. We ALL need it. We need people we can trust to remind us of who we are; that we are loved, and that we are worth taking a risk on ourselves. We need those loving and understanding cheerleaders to walk through life with us.
Therefore, I decree that we must make girl time a priority! We must value our deep friendships for what they mean to us, both individually and as a whole.
Women are a community. Sisterhood is a community. It is vital to our growth and our survival.
So, go ahead. Pick up the phone. Call your girls and make plans. Take the time to catch up, dump all the crap that’s in your head, take a walk on the beach, or talk on the phone for two hours. Laugh, cry, share, and remind each other of who you are. Take inventory of your lives, and take a look at your future. The road ahead is much better with good company, and what better company can be found than that of dearest girlfriends, our sweet soul sisters!
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