When I go to heaven, this is what I expect.
I imagine whatever it is ending my time on earth, it will have me somewhere struggling, fading in and out. Probably with pain. Or maybe the pain is so bad that I've turned numb. Or maybe I'm just numb.
I imagine there comes a feeling, out of nowhere, much like the upward movement on a swing. Something I suddenly become aware of, drawn to, and am driven to reach for.
As I reach for it, momentum kicks in and makes me pump and reach harder to go higher and higher. Something is both familiar and foreign. Something I both recognize and am trepidatious of. Then I realize who, or what it is.
I push towards this ethereal energy that's calling me. Harder and harder I try to push myself there. To allow myself to be pulled there.
A warmness envelops me. I'm aware of a bright light. I see His eyes. I start to see His face and smile.
The warm feeling and bright light get stronger, but not in an overpowering way.
Suddenly, I am in a field at the edge of a bridge. I land on my feet, and half collapse-half sit down on the lush grass. It's a greener green than I ever could imagine. It's softer than anything I've ever touched. The air is the most pure and soothing air I've ever breathed.
Everything around me is vibrant, alive, dancing. Welcoming me warmly.
I can hear, first softly, far away, a beat-like sound. It gets stronger, harder and louder with every second.
Then, I recognize the sound.
Hoofbeats.
It is the sound of approaching hoofbeats.
I look and see, over the bridge, a form taking shape. Running to me like a storm of furry.
Tango
I jump to my feet. My face can't contain the smile, and my heart can't contain the joy. His mane is flying, his head outstretched, and as he gets closer, I see his nostrils flaring and his bright, deep brown eyes.
He comes to a quick stop as our bodies collide gently, moving together in connection like a dance, his head wrapped around me; my arms wrapped around his neck. My feet are off the ground as we embrace each other, beloved horse and human, moving in a circle of love.
Then I hear more. More hoofbeats getting closer and closer.
DUSTY! Whiskey!! Marcus!! Katy! Beau!
They're all running, manes flying, tails whipping. An occasional buck and head toss are exchanged as they jump and squeal with glee.
They encircle Tango and I, and one by one I run to them, hugging their necks, patting their sweet faces, locking eyes and sharing giant breaths of exhalation.
Once the reunion ritual has been properly completed, we all start coming down from the joy of being back together. One by one, they drop their heads and start munching on succulent blades of grass surrounding them in this paradise.
It's then that I hear more familiar noises.
A loud chorus and commotion has erupted in the near distance, getting louder, and more frantic, second by second.
BARKING!
In a flash of white I am taken out at the knees, flopping onto the cushioned ground below me.
OLIVER!
My sweet little white westie, my dear old four legged best friend, is on me, soft tongue showering me with his soft, wet puppy kisses.
And then, it's a pig pile.
I am overrun with fur and kisses. And love. So much love.
Austin, Jackie, Rayna, Casey, Sophie, Hobo, they are all on me and around me, smothering me with kisses, hurling their soft, furry love-filled bodies at me and each other, with the occasional tail whap at my head, my arms, my legs. We roll around in the grass. Barking. Laughing. Full of love.
They start to play all around me, chasing each other, running around the horses who pay no mind, still barking, tails wagging.
As they run around the field, soft pattering catches my attention, and as I turn, I catch a quick glimpse of furry browness, and BAM, Coco is on my chest, claws out just enough to softly cling to me.
I fall back down, laughing, tasting happy tears mixed with my pup's kisses. Coco starts to knead me lovingly. She gives me a few soft sandpaper kitty kisses and I lovingly stroke her all over, scratching her neck like I know she loves.
I then feel more softness around my bent legs, and look to see Shadow, Milo, Mimi, Cujo and Missy, all taking turns rubbing in and out of them, sliding across each other.
As I lay there, with my beloved cats purring loudly around me, I turn my head over my shoulder.
My beloved dogs are starting to slow down, tails still wagging, still at play among my beloved horses grazing all around me. All my fur babies, surrounding me with all the love we always carried.
I feel a warm intensity, as if the sun has come out, strongly showering me with it's yellow and white rays.
I look above me and see Jesus standing there, eyes burning bright, hair glowing, grinning ear to ear. I feel a love like I never knew on earth. It wraps me up and completely takes me over.
He is smiling the most beautiful smile.
"Well done my good and faithful servant, well done."
Tears of love, joy and happiness flow, and I realize all my trials on earth meant nothing.
I am home at last.
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